Thursday, May 28, 2009

Shareen Abbasy

As many of you know, my good friend and college roommate, Shareen Abbasy, passed away on March 17 of this year. Shareen was an inspiration, not only to me, but to most who were lucky enough to cross her path.



Shareen passed away shortly after my arrival in Brisbane. Although the thought crossed my mind a number of times, I decided not to share my stories of Shareen through my blog. Shareen was an incredibly courageous 26 year old woman. It did not seem appropriate to share thoughts immediately following her death on blogspot.com.

Now, as I, along with several others, attempt to raise money in her memory, I have decided that rather than just entering the ChipIn Widget found below, I should share a few words on one of the most amazing people I know. Although words are enough to fully appreciate just how special Shareen is, I have added a few photos of her to this post as well.

I met Shareen in the fall of 2002 at Colby College. Shareen was rooming across the hall from me and my roommate Shannon Emerson. Shannon and I were immediately taken by Shareen's smile, friendly demeanor, and positive attitude. After getting to know Shareen a bit better, she informed us of her battle with cancer the year before. She was not originally a member of our class, but the class of 2004. After completing her first year at Colby, Shareen discovered she would be taking a year off from school to undergo treatment and recover.







Over the next seven years, Shareen was diagnosed with cancer three more times. In February 2009 Shareen decided to turn down all treatment and live the final month of her life with her family and friends in her New York City apartment.

I arrived in Brisbane on March 1, 2009. On February 26 I flew in to New York to be greeted by Caitlin Chamberlin, our fourth college roommate, and Shannon. The following morning we hopped on a train to meet with Shareen and at least twenty other friends and family members in her tiny New York City apartment.

Shannon flew in from Texas. I flew in from Oregon. Shareen's mother and brother of course came from Massachusetts. Jackie flew in from California. Catherine from Italy. Dinah landed the following day from Washington. Friends and family from throughout the state, country, and world had heard of Shareen's diagnosis and within two days were at her side. This should give you an idea of just how special this one woman was.

Yes, we all knew she was sick. And yes, we knew this might be the last time we got to see Shareen's smile and hear her laugh, but the thing is, this wasn't the first time we had all flown in to see Shareen, and oddly enough, it would not be the last.

In 2002 Shannon and I formed a bond with Shareen that was unlike any other friendship either of us had ever known. In 2003, our junior year, Shareen studied abroad in France for the entire school year. Shannon, Caitlin and I spent our first semester together on campus and followed Shareen's lead and headed overseas for the second half of the school year. Upon our return to the U.S. in May, Shareen informed us that upon her return from France she discovered she was sick once again. That summer Shannon and I headed into Boston to visit with Shareen. Within two months she was on the road to recovery, but she would not return to Colby until the spring semester of our senior year.

During the fall of 2004, aside from a brightly colored poster placed on Shareen's bedroom door that read "Bee Happy!", Shareen's room in our quad remained untouched. Caitlin, Shannon, and I traveled to Massachusetts to visit with Shareen at her home. In late January 2005 Shareen returned to Colby to spend one last semester with us and complete her college career.





Early one morning in May 2005 my cell phone rang, followed by Shannon's, and then almost immediately after Shareen's...the four of us were late for the Baccalaureate ceremony. We had been sitting in our quad, toasting each other with wine and champagne, eating chocolate and laughing. We were the only four late for the "optional" ceremony.

A few days later the four of us marched at graduation. Shareen was honored at the ceremony for her accomplishments and hard work. After taking a year and a half off to recover from her illness, in addition to studying abroad for entire year, Shareen graduated with honors in 2005. What an amazing accomplishment.





On April 18, 2009 Shareen's family held a celebration in Shareen's honor in New York. Although Shareen had been buried a month earlier in Long Meadow, MA, her friends and family gathered once again, coming from across the globe, to celebrate Shareen's life.

On April 18 Shannon read the following sonnet, one of Shareen's personal favorites, at the service:

Love Sonnet LXXXIX, by Pablo Neruda

When I die, I want your hands on my eyes:
I want the light and the wheat of your beloved hands
To pass their freshness over me once more;
I want to feel the softness that changed my destiny.

I want you to live while I wait for you, asleep.
I want your ears still to hear the wind;
I want you to smell the sea's aroma that we loved together,
And to continue to walk on the sands that we walked on.

I want what I love to continue to live,
And you, whom I love and sang above everything else,
To continue to flourish, full-flowered:

So that you can reach everything my love directs you to,
So that my shadow can travel along in your hair,
So that everything can learn the reason for my song.

In honor of Shareen a tree will be planted on June 7 on the Colby College Campus. In addition to this tree, a plaque will be dedicated by Shareen's mother Diana, brother Jamil, and members of the Colby College Class of 2005.

Shareen's memory will continue to flourish, full-flowered on the campus she called home for a number of years.

Colby College alumni, I know Colby holds a special place in your heart for one reason or another. Colby is so special to me because of the time I spent with Shareen, Shannon, and Caitlin. Please donate to to the Shareen Abbasy Memorial Fund by clicking below.



Maybe there is someone in your life that is always there to listen, always sends a birthday card on time, always emails you a funny joke or story just when you need it most. Maybe there is someone in your life that encourages you to be yourself, that loves you for who you are. Maybe there is someone who you think of when times are tough and you do not believe you can take another step. The person that was all of those things to me, and I am sure to many others, was Shareen Abbasy.

2 comments:

  1. hey--I saw that you were raising money on your FB and read a little about Shareen. Thanks for writing about her on your blog so I could learn a little more. She sounds like a beautiful, brave woman and you were lucky to spend such good times with her while she was alive.

    ReplyDelete
  2. we miss you shareen baaji. My your soul rest in peace. Ameen!

    ReplyDelete